Is A Positive Divorce Possible?
A Canadian couple has been making international news after posting a selfie online right after they got a divorce. The big deal? They’re side by side and smiling broadly in the picture. The couple captioned the photo with a note about how they had “respectfully, thoughtfully and honourably ended” their relationship and were moving forward as dedicated “parenting partners.”
In a world where it seems like there is story after story of contentious divorces and bitter custody battles, a post like that seems like a breath of fresh air. Many divorced couples are wondering how they too can be more civil or even friendly in their interactions.
Contrary to what it may feel like in the midst of divorce proceedings, where you are fighting over visitation, child support and who gets to keep the house, it is possible to have a positive divorce experience. Two key tenants of this are civil communication and a commitment to keeping the divorce — and the years afterward — as low-conflict as possible.
This may mean only communicating in writing and letting any correspondence sit for at least 24 hours before sending to ensure you aren’t firing off heated emails while you’re angry. It may also mean holding to the saying “fake it till you make it.”
In even the most amicable of divorces, every moment is not pleasant. There will be times of anger, sadness and frustration. It’s important to understand that even when you are feeling less than friendly, smiling and treating your ex as you would a coworker can go a long way toward keeping emotions in check and your interactions less stressful.
Source: SheKnows, “How to have a picture-perfect divorce,” Marci O’Connor, Sep. 08, 2015