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How Can Mediation Help Families Facing Remarriage?

October 9, 2015 by West Coast ADR

While mediation can be very helpful for some couples during the divorce or separation process, it can also be used again if there are any custody, visitation or even family dynamic issues later on that cause problems. All people and families grow and change over time. One common event that often creates challenges is when one parent decides to get remarried or move in with a new partner.

Even if their parents have been divorced for quite some time, it can still be a shock to children that their parent is moving on with another person. For many, it forces them to come to terms with the idea that their parents are not going to get back together. As children deal with this new reality and process these changes, they may act out or try to play one parent off of the other. They may also express a desire to live with the other parent. This can put things like custody and visitation schedules back in play.

It’s best if biological parents and stepparents can work together to enforce standards for how the children should treat the new partner. Since stepparents don’t have any relational authority over the children until the children have accepted their presence and built up some rapport, stepparents need to relegate their authority to that which the biological parent gives them and supports.

It’s important to understand that these transitions can take some time. However, if you find that there are ongoing issues that are bleeding into the custody and visitation aspects of your arrangement, a lawyer may be able to discuss your situation with you and offer some options, including another round of mediation.

Source: Focus on the Family, “The smart step-parent,” Ron L. Deal, accessed Oct. 09, 2015

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