Contact with a Child isn’t Limited Only to Parents
Child custody cases are often difficult on the parents and the child. In some cases, other family members can also feel the pain of the child custody case. Some family members, such as grandparents, might decide to seek contact with the child. The Family Law Act provides a way for non-guardians to still be able to see a child.
There are several different types of contact that a child can have with someone who isn’t a parent or guardian of the child. It is important to note that while the person is in contact with the child, they can’t make decisions about the child’s life. Only someone who is the child’s guardian can make those types of decisions.
A person who is granted contact with a child might have certain conditions placed upon him or her for that contact. One possibility for contact is called conditions on contact. When the court orders this, the person has to meet certain requirements before he or she can have contact with the child. In some cases, there are specific conditions about what the person can do with the child.
The court might order that the person only has contact with the child in specified places or at specified times. The person would have to follow those guidelines to be able to see the child.
Another possibility is a supervised visit. In this case, the visit with the child would be monitored. The person monitored might be a family member or friend.
In all cases of contact with a child that goes through the court, it is vital that you follow the plan the court establishes. Deviating from the plan can lead to a denial of contact with the child.
Source: Family Law in British Columbia, “Spending time with a child if you’re not a guardian: Contact,” accessed Sep. 06, 2015
Tips for Dealing with Stress and Anxiety Throughout a Divorce
Even during a collaborative divorce in British Columbia, you may face a fair amount of anxiety and stress throughout the process, and it’s important to know how you can deal with this. Below are a few tips that may help:
1. Remember that it takes hard work. If you think it’s going to be quick and easy from the beginning, it can be discouraging when it takes a lot of time and effort. The right mindset from the get-go makes that easier.
2. Focus on what you have. People often feel like they are losing a lot in the divorce, especially if it really limits their financial future. Instead of focusing on that, think about what you do have—a warm home, a bed to sleep in, and perhaps your children. Things are changing, but life is still very good on the whole.
3. Channel your energy into positive action. It’s easy to feel scared or stressed, and it may be unavoidable. Rather than letting it overwhelm you, use this energy to push you and help you work toward what you want.
4. Remember that you may never be fully free from a relationship with your ex. This is especially true if you have children. Again, it’s all about having the right mindset. If you realize that you have to deal with this person, even if it’s hard, you can commit yourself to work toward making the most of it, rather than constantly wishing you didn’t have to do it.
If you’d like to learn more helpful tips or find out if a collaborative divorce is right for you, please contact us today.
Do We Have to Have a Formal Separation Agreement?
While many people may believe that a divorce or separation always has to be a contentious process, this isn’t actually true. Every year, couples across Canada are able to work together to come up with separation agreements that outline the provisions for how their property will be divided and how child custody issues will be settled. While most people are more familiar with the concept of a formal court order, some couples may choose to have an informal separation agreement.
Those who are interested in going this route need to make sure they take the time to fully understand how informal separation agreements work and what happens when the parties no longer agree on the terms. For couples separating on fairly good terms, it’s common to try to collaborate as much as possible at first on visitation schedules for the children and other similar issues. You and your ex may decide on who will get the children when, how holidays will be spent and who will pay for which portions of the child-related expenses.
However, as time moves on, changes in your life or your ex-partner’s may make these informal arrangements impossible to continue. Some common issues that occur are one party moving or starting a new relationship. When this happens, you may find that you are no longer able to agree on how to handle your post-separation issues.
Informal separation agreements can only be changed if both parties agree. If you are unable to reach a new agreement, you will need to bring the issue before the family courts so a judge can decide what is in the best interests of the child moving forward.
Source: Family Law in British Columbia, “Making an agreement after you separate,” accessed Nov. 12, 2015
Canadian Celebrity and Wife Decide to Part Ways
The path to and through divorce is different for every couple. Some couples deal with emotional, financial and even safety issues that make it difficult or impossible to work through a divorce in an amicable fashion. Other couples are able to seek divorce through a collaborative law process, working together to close out a marriage that just didn’t work out. While no one right method of divorce exists, it is true that collaborative divorce can be simpler in terms of arguments and amicable agreements about child custody and other issues.
One celebrity couple with ties to Canada seems to be working through the divorce process in an amicable fashion. The couple is David Foster and his wife Yolanda. David Foster is a Canadian and a music producer known for work in major motion pictures and television shows.
The couple was married after both individuals had experienced at least one divorce. Yolanda had been previously married and has three children ranging from age 16 to 20 from that marriage. David had been married three times prior to marrying Yolanda. He has five children from previous relationships.
According to reports, David and Yolanda Foster did not have any children together. In 2012, Yolanda contracted Lyme disease, and there is some speculation that marital woes began around that time, particularly in light of a statement released by the couple to news media. In the statement, the couple said they enjoyed their nine years together and that they experienced what they called “inevitable challenges” in their marriage. The couple listed blended families, careers and health issues as some challenges they experienced.
The statement from the couple seems to indicate they are seeking an amicable end to marriage. Working with a legal professional, you can also use collaborative law to seek an amicable divorce.
Source: Global News, “David Foster, Yolanda Foster divorcing after 9 years of marriage,” Chris Jancelewicz, Dec. 02, 2015
Mother Seeks $14,000 a Month in Child Support, Court Says No
A woman seeking child support to the tune of $14,000 a month as had her request denied. A justice in a British Columbia Supreme Court rejected the mother’s claim that her child hasn’t been able to enjoy the same lifestyle as when she was married to an oral surgeon.
The case is somewhat complicated. The couple met at work, where the woman was a dental assistant. The husband worked many 12-hour days and was on call 365 days a year. For that schedule, he made over $2 million a year.
The couple had a child during the marriage and the mother also had a child from a previous relationship. That child sees his father; however, the mother doesn’t want the oral surgeon — the child’s stepfather — to see the child. However, she does want $14,000 a month in child support for the oral surgeon’s stepchild. The oral surgeon has custody of the child from the marriage.
The justice noted that the woman had not looked for work since the divorce, choosing to live on income from investments — and the $1.7 million settlement she got in the divorce. The justice believes the mother should receive $60,000 a year from investments and another $55,000 in salary.
The oral surgeon has cut back on his hours significant — he only works six days each month now. He anticipates that in the future, he will earn about $500,000 a year. The justice decided the man would pay $1,500 a month in child support for his stepson. However, that amount will likely be offset by the amount of child support the mother will have to pay for her child that lives with him.
As you can see, in some cases involving child support, child custody and more are very contentious. A collaborative law approach is much easier on all parties involved and certainly worth looking into.
Source: CBC News, “Unemployed dental assistant loses $14K child support claim,” Dec. 15, 2015
Understanding the Collaborative Process
It may seem like every divorce must involve some kind of argument or court battle, but this is not the case. Whether you are already divorcing amicably or want to try to avoid the contention and strife common with traditional divorces, collaborative law may be a good fit for your legal needs.
One of the basic tenants of the collaborative process is the participation agreement. This is the document that all parties must sign, and it is an agreement to be completely honest in disclosing information and providing documentation as well as an agreement that neither side will pursue litigation. However, this does not mean that lawyers will not be involved. Even in the collaborative process, it is important for each party to have his or her own legal representation who can look out for his or her rights and interests.
Once the agreement has been signed, the parties work together to determine what is best in coming to a settlement. If a settlement agreement is reached, it is signed by everyone involved and finalized by the family courts. If it becomes clear that an agreement is not possible, the case moves on to the courts. It is important to note here that in the latter situation, both parties must also obtain new legal representation before moving forward.
Divorce doesn’t have to be a fight. If you’re interested in collaborative law, mediation or arbitration as a way to handle your divorce proceedings, talking with a lawyer is the first step. At West Coast ADR Law Group, we can help you understand the pros and cons of each option and which one may be best for your specific set of circumstances.
Several Factors Affect Divorces in British Columbia
When you are going through a divorce in British Columbia, there are several things that you must consider. One of these factors is how you will handle the divorce. If you and your spouse both agree that the marriage is over, you might decide to file for an uncontested divorce. In this type of divorce, one spouse will file for the divorce and the other spouse has to agree to it.
In an uncontested divorce, both spouses must agree on the grounds for the divorce. Unless there are accusations of abuse or adultery, you might not even have to step foot in court. Of course, you and your spouse will have to agree on all the aspects of the divorce. This can include how you will divide property and debts.
If you are planning on filing for a divorce here, you must be prepared to wait. You have to be separated for at least 12 months before you can become divorced. It doesn’t matter if your divorce is a fault divorce or a no fault divorce, the time limit still applies.
It is important to note that most divorces are handled as no fault divorces. The only instances in which a fault divorce would be appropriate are those in which one spouse has been abusive or adulterous. In those cases, the wronged spouse could file for a fault divorce.
Because divorce is such a major life event, you should make sure that you are well prepared when you are going through the process. This includes getting all of the questions you have answered so you are fully informed.
Source: FindLaw Canada, “Getting a divorce — FAQ,” accessed Feb. 04, 2016
Are there any Potential Pitfalls with a Collaborative Divorce?
The collaborative divorce process is appealing to many couples ready to end their relationships. It offers the parties more control over the divorce since they don’t have to go through a court battle or trial. Further, it can often be quicker and less expensive than a traditional adversarial divorce. However, just like with anything else, it is not totally without negatives.
One of the biggest issues with attempting a collaborative divorce is that if the negotiations are not successful, both parties must start over with new legal representation when the case goes to trial. This can seem overwhelming for those who have already put so much time and effort into trying to come to an agreement. It may result in one or both parties making more concessions than they would like out of feeling pressured to come to an agreement.
Another similar issue is that it’s easy to feel rushed. There’s no waiting on the court schedule or the next hearing, so it can add to feeling that you must come to an agreement very quickly. Further complicating this issue is that most people choose a collaborative divorce because they want to settle things quickly. It’s important to take as much time as you need to come to a settlement that is fair and acceptable to both of you.
Understanding the pros and cons of any divorce option is a critical part of making well-informed decisions. If you have questions about whether collaborative law or another option is right for your situation, a lawyer can help you get more information.
Source: The Huffington Post, “Is Collaborative Divorce a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing?,” Georgialee Lang, accessed March 04, 2016
Important Keys to a Collaborative Divorce
If you’re thinking of using a collaborative divorce because you think you and your spouse can work things out without a court date, it’s important to know how to approach this properly. It can be a great alternative, but you have to remember that it does put more pressure on you, and the results of the divorce are binding. You can’t go back and redo it later if you make a mistake. As such, keep the following key points in mind:
1. Make sure that both you and your spouse are open and honest. Never try to hide assets. Don’t lie about your income. Don’t give things to other people so that you don’t have to split them up, knowing you’ll get them back after the divorce. Honesty is very important to find a fair solution.
2. Don’t let addictions get in the way. Experts warn that addictions to drugs or alcohol can make the process far harder.
3. Be sure that both people have equal ground and an equal chance to speak their minds. Don’t try to be dominating, forcing your spouse into any decisions—and don’t let your spouse dominate the conversation, either. This has to be a two-way street.
4. Never make threats or act overly aggressive in the negotiations. Even if things aren’t going the way that you hoped, you must stay calm and collected. Never attempt to bully someone else into a decision.
The main key to a collaborative divorce is just to work together and to keep lines of communication open. Additionally, you need to make sure you know what legal steps you need to take in Canada to finalize the divorce.
Source: Forbes, “The Four Divorce Alternatives,” Jeff Landers, accessed March 25, 2016
Learn to Co-Parent Successfully After Divorce
If you are in the midst of a divorce, or have been through one and are coping with the aftereffects, it’s imperative to work through your co-parenting issues for the sake of the kids. Even parents who go through a collaborative divorce can have them.
Below are some things to keep in mind as you struggle to navigate the parenting shoals of your kids’ post-divorce world.
— Put the kids’ needs first. They are especially vulnerable now, so make sure that their attachment and security needs are met. Help them forge a path to the new normal by reassuring them that all of you will get through this and nothing will ever make Daddy or Mommy stop loving them.
— Learn to separate and cope with your own crises so that you can be a better, more involved parent. If you are constantly upset and anxiety-ridden, these feelings will spill over to your children and make them insecure as well. Get counseling if necessary to learn positive coping skills.
— Give the kids the gift of continuity and stability. Establish limits and be clear about expectations. Consistency matters. While there will be individual differences in minor rules in both parents’ homes, come to accord with your ex on “red rules” dealing with shared core values.
— Keep new elements out of your life in the very beginning. While you may be ready for a hot new romance, it could devastate the kids. Allow them time to adjust.
— Work with your ex when big decisions have to be made. Allow your children to see that it is possible to interact with your ex civilly and calmly. That is a life lesson they may one day need.
— Remain respectful of your ex, at least around the kids. Don’t put them in the position of being a go-between or having to defend their other parent.
When all options have been tried and there are still sticking points, you may want consider returning to court for modification of the court order if necessary.
Source: Huffington Post, “4 Reasons Why Co-Parenting Post Divorce Matters More Than Ever,” Dana Westreich Hirt, April 11, 2016