Parental Involvement More Likely After Collaborative Divorce
July 3, 2015 by West Coast ADR
As Father’s Day goes by year after year, there are many children of divorced parents missing their fathers and feeling forgotten. It’s not that some of these fathers don’t want to be with their children, but often conflict with the child’s mother just makes it easier to stay away. Of course, in some situations, this is reversed, and it is the mother who no longer is a vital part of their children’s lives.
One way that couples planning a divorce can make sure this doesn’t happen with their children is by opting for a collaborative divorce. In a traditional divorce, one parent is often set against the other. Even if the divorce started out amiably enough, it can turn ugly before the divorce process is over. All communication often stops between the spouses, and the attorneys are only interested in coming out ahead for their client. Once the divorce is complete, the two parties may not even be speaking.
This is the worst thing that can happen when children are involved. Children can feel their parents’ hostility towards one another, and often get drug right into the middle of it. Parents may try to punish each other by using the children as a ploy. Hopefully, this doesn’t happen and the parents always put their children’s needs first; however, nine times out of 10, if the divorce is hostile, that doesn’t happen.
The goal in a divorce should be to regroup and restructure the family for the best outcome for the children and the parents going forward. This is why collaborative divorce is often the best option. In a collaborative divorce, both spouses are encouraged to express their needs and come to a compromise on divorce issues, including custody and visitation with the children. As they work together with mediation-trained attorneys and other professionals as needed, such as financial advisors or mental health professionals, they are able to communicate their feelings and often end their marriage with better feelings towards one another.
This is a win-win situation for all. The parents both stay more involved with their children when they work together with the other parent. A husband or wife is also more apt to pay any agreed-upon child support. In the long run, the children are more emotionally stable as they grow into adulthood.
Source: Benzinga.com, “Collaborative Divorce Option Recommended This Father’s Day for Divorced Dads to Stay Close to Their Children,” June 16, 2015
As Father’s Day goes by year after year, there are many children of divorced parents missing their fathers and feeling forgotten. It’s not that some of these fathers don’t want to be with their children, but often conflict with the child’s mother just makes it easier to stay away. Of course, in some situations, this is reversed, and it is the mother who no longer is a vital part of their children’s lives.
One way that couples planning a divorce can make sure this doesn’t happen with their children is by opting for a collaborative divorce. In a traditional divorce, one parent is often set against the other. Even if the divorce started out amiably enough, it can turn ugly before the divorce process is over. All communication often stops between the spouses, and the attorneys are only interested in coming out ahead for their client. Once the divorce is complete, the two parties may not even be speaking.
This is the worst thing that can happen when children are involved. Children can feel their parents’ hostility towards one another, and often get drug right into the middle of it. Parents may try to punish each other by using the children as a ploy. Hopefully, this doesn’t happen and the parents always put their children’s needs first; however, nine times out of 10, if the divorce is hostile, that doesn’t happen.
The goal in a divorce should be to regroup and restructure the family for the best outcome for the children and the parents going forward. This is why collaborative divorce is often the best option. In a collaborative divorce, both spouses are encouraged to express their needs and come to a compromise on divorce issues, including custody and visitation with the children. As they work together with mediation-trained attorneys and other professionals as needed, such as financial advisors or mental health professionals, they are able to communicate their feelings and often end their marriage with better feelings towards one another.
This is a win-win situation for all. The parents both stay more involved with their children when they work together with the other parent. A husband or wife is also more apt to pay any agreed-upon child support. In the long run, the children are more emotionally stable as they grow into adulthood.
Source: Benzinga.com, “Collaborative Divorce Option Recommended This Father’s Day for Divorced Dads to Stay Close to Their Children,” June 16, 2015