Mediator Role In Divorce Mediation
June 26, 2015 by West Coast ADR
If you and your soon-to-be ex have decided to use mediation as your source for divorce resolution, having the right mediator may make all the difference. A mediator has a special role, and it is not an easy one. They must try to make the process as painless and fair as possible.
According to a one successful mediator, when facilitating divorce issues, the most important role they perform is listening. That may sound simple, but there are some rules they need to follow to be successful. They must:
1. Listen closely, ensuring that each party gets to speak freely without being interrupted.
2. Listen with an open mind without judging.
3. Ask questions to ensure understanding of what was actually meant, and try to understand each person and their goals.
4. Remain stable when pain or disappointment is evident in either party.
5. Listen without trying to fix or minimize the issues.
A good mediator does not have to personally agree with, or even like, a person, but should respect his or her perspective of reality.
Fostering communication and understanding between the two parties is the best way to ensure successful mediation. Spouses are more apt to be agreeable, and relationships post-divorce are usually more amenable as well, which is a big plus when children are involved.
Most people chose divorce mediation because it is less expensive, quicker and usually a friendlier way of resolving issues. But what makes it work is a good mediator with good listening skills, who understands that his or her role is not as “decision-maker,” but to guide and oversee the mediation process.
If you plan to use mediation to resolve your divorce, take time to select the proper family mediation group. You may need additional professionals involved in your divorce process, and you need a mediator with a team of resources available.
Source: Huffington Post, “Secrets of a Successful Divorce Mediation,” Alison Patton, June 21, 2015
If you and your soon-to-be ex have decided to use mediation as your source for divorce resolution, having the right mediator may make all the difference. A mediator has a special role, and it is not an easy one. They must try to make the process as painless and fair as possible.
According to a one successful mediator, when facilitating divorce issues, the most important role they perform is listening. That may sound simple, but there are some rules they need to follow to be successful. They must:
1. Listen closely, ensuring that each party gets to speak freely without being interrupted.
2. Listen with an open mind without judging.
3. Ask questions to ensure understanding of what was actually meant, and try to understand each person and their goals.
4. Remain stable when pain or disappointment is evident in either party.
5. Listen without trying to fix or minimize the issues.
A good mediator does not have to personally agree with, or even like, a person, but should respect his or her perspective of reality.
Fostering communication and understanding between the two parties is the best way to ensure successful mediation. Spouses are more apt to be agreeable, and relationships post-divorce are usually more amenable as well, which is a big plus when children are involved.
Most people chose divorce mediation because it is less expensive, quicker and usually a friendlier way of resolving issues. But what makes it work is a good mediator with good listening skills, who understands that his or her role is not as “decision-maker,” but to guide and oversee the mediation process.
If you plan to use mediation to resolve your divorce, take time to select the proper family mediation group. You may need additional professionals involved in your divorce process, and you need a mediator with a team of resources available.
Source: Huffington Post, “Secrets of a Successful Divorce Mediation,” Alison Patton, June 21, 2015