Emotions and Collaborative Family Law
June 10, 2015 by West Coast ADR
If collaborative family law is supposed to be a friendlier, healthier way of solving family disputes, what happens when two people cannot agree? First of all, let me say that is a perfectly “normal” situation. If the parties were already agreeing, they wouldn’t need either a mediation process or a court to solve their dispute. The goal is to help those who cannot agree come to a satisfactory agreement outside of court, but it does not mean that all emotions will be absent or silent. On the contrary, while a collaborative family law team hopes to see parties come to an agreement in the most amiable way possible, parties are encouraged to state their needs and desires in the process. Lawyers, mediators or arbitrators are there to keep each party on task, to provide guidance and support, and to assist their clients in finding a solution that each can live with.
During the process, one or both parties may express anger, tears, sadness or a variety of other emotions. As long as the emotions are expressed in a healthy and non-dangerous fashion, this is okay. The goal is still the same — to work through the process; however, each party has the opportunity to make his or her case for what is important to them. Knowing what is important to each other, and why, opens the door for compromise.
If parties are having trouble coming to an agreement, other professionals may be recommended to provide advice. For instance, if a couple who is divorcing cannot come to an agreement about property division, a financial adviser may be called in to help provide advice and possible strategies.
If collaborative family law is supposed to be a friendlier, healthier way of solving family disputes, what happens when two people cannot agree? First of all, let me say that is a perfectly “normal” situation. If the parties were already agreeing, they wouldn’t need either a mediation process or a court to solve their dispute. The goal is to help those who cannot agree come to a satisfactory agreement outside of court, but it does not mean that all emotions will be absent or silent. On the contrary, while a collaborative family law team hopes to see parties come to an agreement in the most amiable way possible, parties are encouraged to state their needs and desires in the process. Lawyers, mediators or arbitrators are there to keep each party on task, to provide guidance and support, and to assist their clients in finding a solution that each can live with.
During the process, one or both parties may express anger, tears, sadness or a variety of other emotions. As long as the emotions are expressed in a healthy and non-dangerous fashion, this is okay. The goal is still the same — to work through the process; however, each party has the opportunity to make his or her case for what is important to them. Knowing what is important to each other, and why, opens the door for compromise.
If parties are having trouble coming to an agreement, other professionals may be recommended to provide advice. For instance, if a couple who is divorcing cannot come to an agreement about property division, a financial adviser may be called in to help provide advice and possible strategies.